Rethinking Compliance, Focusing on Community.

I was teaching a group of 4^th graders fractions with candy this past week. All children are going to be excited when there’s candy involved as a manipulative. I noticed not only was my teaching not where I wanted to be taking it (for example, I wasn't asking specific enough questions), but the students eventually began to start talking over one another and over me. I heard myself say, "I will wait 'til you're quiet." I hated myself instantly. I used this "tool" because it was honestly what I reverted back to when I didn't know what else to do. It was a “quick fix” calling for temporary compliance (Kohn 30). I didn’t try and do it out of power, but I can see how it can be viewed as a power- hungry phrase. I knew it wasn’t the best choice or what I wanted to be doing, but I also tried explained to the students how we have to create a learning environment for all types of learners. For most all of us, that means listening when others are talking (something we had agreed upon in our “Ways to have a Conversation” anchor chart). In retrospect, I should have referenced this agreement the children had constructed themselves and asked students what we could have done differently: “lots of thought and skill are required to work with students and figure out together how to solve a problem” (Kohn 30). In no way did repeating 3-4 different times “I’ll wait ‘til you’re quiet” offer the students any form of agentive problem-solving skills for us to work as a community. When I talked with my teacher afterwards (he was not able to observe this lesson) he asked, "how did it go?" and I immediately told him how I was not happy with how I handled things. He asked, “how did [saying ‘I’ll wait til you’re quiet’] work for you?” My immediate response was, “It didn’t.” I knew it didn’t. I knew even when I was saying it. I think it is crucial to recognize the “false dichotomy” that is created when we entertain ideas such as punishments, rewards, and discipline. There is an “unnecessarily either/or…on the one hand, we can punish; on the other hand, we can do nothing” (Kohn 31). It doesn’t have to be this way. As teachers, we need to “create a caring alliance, a connection based on warmth and respect” (Kohn 36). We need to shift the focus from “doing things to students” to “working with them” (Kohn 36). We need to remind ourselves, when confronting issues alongside our students, how can “student[s] come away with an understanding of, or concern about, how his or her actions may affect other people” or themselves (Kohn 24).